My Dad

When I was a little boy, my dad was my hero.  He was super-human and could do anything and everything.  There was nothing that my dad did not know…at least in my eyes anyway.  I sought to win my dad’s approval constantly.  There was nothing I wouldn’t do to meet his approval and win his favor.  Dad was the most important person in my life in those days.  He knew everything!  He was everything to me.

Then those years came that come to so many children and suddenly dad was no longer the bearer of all knowledge.  In fact, the older I got, the dumber dad got, in my opinion.  I knew more than he did, or so I thought.  However, eventually I reached a point when it hit me that dad had not changed.  I did.  I learned independence and standing on my own.  In itself, this is not a bad thing and actually should be the goal of every parent – To get their children to be able to live independent of the parental care.  Often, this also means that such growth will even go to the point of the child even severing themselves and relations from the parents, as they seek to determine things on their own.

Thankfully, there came a point when I realized that I still needed dad’s approval and insight and relations were restored.  I think the latter relationship that dad and I had was even stronger than the early years.  Dad was once again viewed as my hero.  I sought his companionship and wisdom often.  Dad was promoted seven years ago, last Thanksgiving.  I miss him now that he is gone, but I know I will see him again.  Our separation is only temporary.

I say all this to make a parallel.  I once had such a view of God (My Father), as I had of my earthly dad.  He was all-knowing, all-powerful, and everything to me.  Then there came those who would “correct” my thinking.  The worst part of this was that those who came in to correct my understanding of God were supposedly godly people.  These corrected my errors and I came to know the same God that all those around me knew.  All was once again well in the world.  That was the problem: It was well “in the world”.  But I knew I could get along with the other Christians that way and believed they were teaching me correctly and I was now viewing God properly.

Thankfully again though…there came a day when I realized that those who liked to “set me straight”, were indeed “leading me astray”.  I have come to understand that God had not changed.  I had.  Thanks to those “teachers” of the truth.  So, with God’s help, I did an about face and repented of my ignorance.  God IS all I once thought of Him – And more!

Now, when others attempt to straighten me out about my Father, I simply respond, “No thanks.”  I would rather remain ignorant about my Father and think He is everything to me and knowing all things and being totally powerful and in control of everything.  Maybe I’m being foolish, but I’ll take my chances.

Almighty, All-Knowing, Omni-Present...My Father...My Heavenly Dad

Mission Pictures

These are some of the scenes around here, from the Roma, Texas and Miguel Aleman, Mexico ministries.  The Roma church is about 4 blocks from the Rio Grande, and the International Bridge.  The Miguel Aleman mission is about 9 blocks to the south of the Rio Grande.  The main santuary in Roma has the appearance of a typical, large, American church building.  The Annex resembles a low-budget, American church building.  The Mexico church building….well….see for yourself.  It is not your typical American church at all.

Roma, Texas Pictures:

Main Santuary (right) - Annex (left)

3rd Anniversary Service - February 26, 2012 (main sanctuary)

Annex Service - Sunday Mornings

Same Service - Pastor John Peel (at the front)

Miguel Aleman, Mexico Pictures: Notice the lack of chandeliers and stained glass windows; however, there are vaulted ceilings.  :-)  This facilitiy is a converted warehouse / mini-factory, but it is the worship, the word, and the Spirit that make it a church service.  Not the building facilities.

Sunday Evening Service - Mexico acility

Mexico Worship

Warehouse Worship Facility (notice stored items (background) and concrete floor)


Another walker bites the dust…

Praise God: Two walkers have been retired since I got here.  There was a man, David, who had suffered a heart-attack about a day or two after I arrived.  Then, the next day David suffered a stroke too!  John told me a little about the situation but I had not yet met the man, I had not met anyone yet, only John.  That night as I prayed, I was led to pray specifically for David.  I had not prayed long and the Holy Spirit told me that David was going to be fine, and this was to be used as part of David’s testimony and ministry.  I did not need to pray further and simply began to praise God for the healing.

A few weeks later, I saw a man with a walker standing in the prayer line.  We had never met, but I immediately knew it was David.  I had a huge smile as I came to him and said to him that I knew who he was and that the Lord told me as I prayed for him that night that David was going to be fine.  David said, “I know when that was, I felt it.”  David and I didn’t pray for anything at that point but instead prayed a word of praise for the healing.  Three days later, David came to service with a cane, but stated it was more for security than need.  Four days after that, David walked into service without any assistance.  There is no sign of lingering illness!

Last night, a lady named Caroline came in without her walker or even a cane.  Caroline had been barely shuffling around for years with this walker.  Many have been praying for her but the issues persisted for some reason.  The lingering illness had taken its toll on the woman and she had become worn down emotionally and spiritually, as well as the physical illness.  This sort of thing can cause a person to be rather grumbly and grouchy and difficult to be around and just beats them down, as well as taking a toll on others.  I speak this not in condemnation but in understanding of what illness can do to a person’s emotional state.  However…

The first time I met Caroline, I spoke what the Lord had given to me for her.  I knew nothing about her, except what the Lord had shown me.  Her reactions to the words verified the accuracy of the words.  From that point forward, the Lord continued to keep this woman (along with several other people) in my heart and seeking things of God for them.  These were continually in my prayers, and I knew God wanted to heal Caroline.

Finally, the day came when the Holy Spirit said it was time to move.  I simply went over and sat down next to Caroline and just started praying over her in the spirit.  I never spoke a word to Caroline; I just moved on what the Holy Spirit said to do.  Lulu came over and stood behind Caroline and prayed.  I assumed this was the Holy Spirit too.  As this went on, The Holy Spirit prompted me that Lulu had a word for Caroline, so I asked Lulu to please speak what the Lord had given her.  Caroline got excited and claimed Lulu’s words as confirmation of what God had already spoken to Caroline; as all this happened, God spoke to me that Caroline was healed.  But Caroline never attempted to stand or walk.  This confused me, so I prayed a bit more in the spirit and the Lord showed me something else.  Since I did not know what to do with what God showed me, I left it alone and prayed on it for another week or so, until I got better direction on it.

A little over a week ago, I had received the last portions of what I was to do with regard to Caroline, and the opportunity was presented and to counsel Caroline privately with what the Holy Spirit had revealed to me.  I spoke what I was to say and it appeared she received it well – But – Caroline had not been around since.  This concerned me greatly and I was afraid I may have spoken incorrectly; however, Caroline came into last night’s service – WITHOUT A WALKER!!!  She not only did not have her walker, but she walked with the gait of a healthy individual.  I mean she was really stepping them off!  Caroline went from shuffling behind a walker to a full, healthy gait.  She gave her testimony about all those who have prayed and what God had done and continued to do.  When she finished, she practically ran back to her seat.  Thank You, Lord!

These are a couple of the more dramatic healings I have seen in the past six-weeks.  There have been numerous others, and I have received healings and blessings too.  It may be difficult to return home to a place where I cannot minister in such ways and see God’s glory manifested with such awesome power.  Not to say that nothing happens back there, but the Holy Spirit works best when He is free to move when and how He chooses and through whomever He chooses.  Here, there are no real time limits on services, or on persons used.  If the Spirit is moving in them, they are encouraged to move.  The hunger runs so deep that the Holy Spirit cannot help but respond.  Sunday morning service is set for 10:00 to 12:00, but often actually opens with the first individuals praying about 9:30, and the last to leave will not be until well past 1:00.

Wednesday evening service is slated for 7 pm to 9pm.  Last night’s service started in prayer around 6:30 and the last people did not leave until after 11 pm!  The Holy Spirit is not one to pay much attention to church / ministerial schedules or use of people.  It is wonderful to take part in such flexibility and resulting blessings, as I have been taking part in.  It will make it tougher to leave though.

Early-Bird's Praising - Main Annex on the U.S. Side

Critical Spirits continued…

Many who like to condemn the various bible translations are often the die-hard King James Version (KJV) people.  While I have no issue with the KJV of the bible – In fact the KJV is one of the translations I use regularly in my studies – I would like to just set a few records straight and hopefully eliminate some of the unnecessary friction that continues to plague the church over such silliness, and dare I say even some ignorance.  Bear with me as I attempt to dispel some incorrect notions and beliefs.

The KJV is not the bible Paul used and taught from.  There was no “official” bible at that time.  Paul taught from revelations of the Holy Spirit and his understanding of Christ and of the Old Testament.  Paul WROTE many of the New Testament books.  These were the doctrines Paul taught.  They were new revelations to the new church and not something already established in previous writings Paul taught FROM.

The biblical writings were established approximately 1600 years ago.  The KJV bible is only 400 years old.  There is a 1200 year gap from the established and accepted words and the KJV.  There are many, much older transcripts of the original texts than those of the KJV.  The older bible translations include writings not currently found in the KJV, but the writings were once included – in the original KJV.  The writings have since been removed.  For a time, there were “pastoral versions” of the KJV around that included the missing writings, but eventually the writings were removed altogether and the old “pastoral copies” are a rare find and out of print.  This is unfortunate because there are things lost in those discarded books.

Even the name, “King James Version”, is not accurate.  King James authorized the translation into English but even he knew that it was not proper to put his name on God’s word.  The original translation was called “The Authorized Text”, not the King James Version.  However, I am not about to allow such a spirit of religion come upon me as to condemn or attempt to force others to stop calling it the KJV.  In the scheme of salvation, that argument isn’t worth a hill of beans.

One of the translations I enjoy is the New Living Translation (NLT).  I enjoy it so much that I have purchased it for many others.  When used in companion with the KJV, the reading and understanding take on new levels of enlightenment.  Those who have received and used these bibles from me have stated how they have suddenly been able to understand so much that they could not understand before.  Yet, the die-hard KJV people want to keep throwing rocks at the NLT.  Some even call it “Doctrines of Demons!”  WOW!  Talk about condemnation!  In the early days of the printing press, many bibles were put in the hands of “common folk” and many who continued to translate the Word were murdered (brutally martyred) and imprisoned to keep others from having the words of scripture put in a form that the common man could read.  I feel sometimes that some of the KJV people would even go so far today and kill others for using or teaching any other version.  Undoubtedly, they kill others with their tongue, even if they don’t do it in a physical sense.

Among the various arguments against the other translations is what some often refer to as “The Blood Test.”  In this, the claim is that “The Blood” is removed from the text and thus the text is demonic.  Worse yet, is that these who condemn do not study for themselves but listen to what another speaks and justify the condemnation on what they heard from another.  I am not going to go through each and every translation of the bible (I don’t want to take so much time with this) but I will continue with the one example of the many other examples that exist.  “The Blood” is referred to 276 times in the NLT.  “The Blood” is referred to 70 times in the New Testament of the NLT.  “The Blood of Christ” is referred to 37 times in the New Testament of the NLT.  It does not appear that “The Blood” and the significance of the blood has been reduced in the NLT.  I have found the same to be true of other versions and translations, yet there are those who love to condemn anything that does not align with their own ways.

Regarding Internet study of scripture: Beware that all that is on the Internet is not true, just because it is written there.  At the same time, it is not all false either.  The Internet is a useful tool to deepen scriptural study.  Just be careful and discern what you read.  The Internet is an incredible study aid but can also lead a person astray.  The same can be said for Christian authors and commentaries.  Discern!  Discern!  Discern!  But don’t discard, unless it needs to be discarded.  Weigh it.  Chew on it.  Digest it.  Seek whether or not it is true or false.  All these can be a tremendous blessing to your studies, or a tremendous curse.  Don’t allow others to discourage your seeking though.  We are to learn from one another and grow from one another’s understanding.  Don’t allow the closed-minds of others to close your mind and prevent you from finding legitimate sources of learning.  Yet don’t be so open minded as to allow anything and everything to enter in.

One day the Holy Spirit was speaking to me on His gifts.  One of the things He spoke to me was, “Discernment is My gift – Distrust is a false gift.”  Discernment is learned but distrust comes naturally and is part of the fallen nature.  Don’t let narrow-mindedness block your way of seeking new levels of enlightenment of God’s word…. STUDY, DISCERN, and LEARN.

Acts 17:11 And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.

Be Open-Minded – Listen Eagerly – Search Scripture Daily – See if it is true.  Don’t take my word for it or anyone else’s either.  I STRESS this in all bible studies I teach.  “Don’t just take my word for it – seek it out for yourself!”

May God bless your studies!


Jesus Teaches in the Temple

Critical Spirits

How many times have you heard this, or something similar, “As long as we are in agreement, I believe that God lives in you, but if you ever disagree with my theology…It is the devil speaking through you – Not me!”  I am so fed up with such nonsense.  Such hard-nosed and critical spirits abound in so many claiming to be saved.  I have been accepted many times, as long as I support a certain idea or feed into what another wants, either in moral support or financial support or both.  But if I fail to support another idea of the person, instantly, I am viewed as being a demon possessed or my eyes are blinded by demons.

Over the many years, I have listened to some who are trying to build empires on the Gospel, and they claimed it was building a church.  But when that person saw another doing the same thing, the other person was building an empire.  I have met those who have written books on their theologies and they sell these to help others understand the bible better.  But these same people condemn someone else’s book as unnecessary, since we already have the bible, so any other words are not needed.  I’ve even heard them call the other person’s work: “Doctrines of Demons!”  Then there are the “them versus us” doctrinal battles of denominations.  There are those who state clearly that I need a “covering” and to be able to start a church, then turn around and start their own church without a covering.  If these people are brought in to straighten out a church, it is divine intercession (even if you can’t find anything to biblically support their views).  If I do the same thing; now, it is a Jezebel spirit (and it would not matter that my concerns are biblically supported).

Speaking on the submission to the leadership of the church…I just heard a conversation about how evil people are like livestock that reach through a fence to graze, when there is plenty of good pasture available inside the fence.  Then the same person later, in the same discussion, stated that it is the good people try to reach through the fence to get what is missing in their spiritual diet!  Which is it?  We don’t need such nonsense and constant confusion and contradictions in our lives.  And this is among “Believers” – No wonder the rest of the world wants nothing to do with us.  The bible calls us a “peculiar” people but too often we appear to be just plain “loco”.

When someone does get saved, the “Believers” swarm in with all their spiritual superiority and all their “gotta do’s” and “don’t do’s” and ‘…turn them into twice the servant of the devil as they once were.’ (These were Jesus’ own words!)  The new babe, the one just saved is devoured.  To me, being a farmer, I see it as a sow turning and eating her own young.  These Christians want others saved, and then eat the young as soon as they are born.  Then I hear these babes saying, “If that is what a Christian is, I want nothing to do with it!”  And that new creation walks away from God.  Again, Jesus said, “Anyone causing one of His children to fall; better a millstone be tied around their neck and they be flung into the sea.”  Jesus knew the seriousness of bringing a person into HIS salvation, just to have PEOPLE turn them away again.  Those once saved and then pushed out by the so-called believers, are much more difficult to turn back to Jesus again.  The more times it happens with a person, the more difficult it becomes.  It is not God’s fault, it is the fault of those who claim to do His work.  If you cannot nurture and grow the new believer – Shut Up and stay away from them!

My calling is as a teacher and a prophet, but I don’t really claim either as a title.  I’m not big on titles, but I recognize God’s gift to me – It is not me, but God in me, so the “title” goes to Him.  In my studies, I use several translations of the bible.  I also study works of biblical teachers and scholars and several commentaries by proven men and women, along with concordances and dictionaries and the like.  In addition, I study other beliefs, such as Islam, Jehovah’s Witness, Mormonism, Gnosticism, Judaism, and others.  There are many who are quick to condemn such studies.  Some condemn me on the basis of learning about anything other than mainstream Christianity; some condemn the use of commentaries (“Let the Spirit guide you,” some might say); some argue against using any bible translation other than their personal favorite.  The list of condemnations goes on and on.  However, I seem to recall something in scripture about people perishing for lack of knowledge.

I can say that I am learning things from other proven teachers that I would not have learned as quickly as if I had to dig it all out for myself.  There is another bible verse that states that the ceiling of the fathers should be the floor of the sons.  I am simply starting from their ceiling and building from there.  Why spend my entire life learning what they already spent an entire life to learn?  Why not just prove it, receive it, and build the second floor of the home?  Or we can just condemn it and lay the same blocks over again (provided we lay them correctly).

Why study other faiths?  Let me ask this instead, “How do you minister to someone with another faith, if you know nothing about their faith?  Would you, or could you recognize a gnostic if you met one?  There are many Gnostics in the charismatic church today and they go unnoticed.  Would you speak to a Jehovah’s Witness the same as you would a Mormon?  If you did, one or the other (perhaps both) would not understand what you were attempting to speak to them.  Do you understand the harmony of the Gospels and how they pertain to Judaism and what the Jewish looked for in the Messiah and why they could not see Him?  Then how would you minster to a Jew.  Do you understand the role of Jesus in the Islamic religion and how to point out the error of this thinking in the Quran?  If those who condemn my study of such things and my methods can answer these important questions for our world today – Without studying as I have – Then I will discontinue these methods and accept their condemnations.  Until then, I think we have heard enough such condemning of one another.

If you see something wrong, please have the correct, proven, Biblical answer and path ready – Before you speak.  Otherwise, it is just an opinion.  We have enough opinions floating around in the church already.  Instead of putting up more walls, why don’t we start tearing some down?  I try to see what God is doing in a person and not what the devil is trying to do.  Feed the good and the evil will starve out and die.  Love others, and hatred will leave in time.  If it doesn’t, just give it to God and move on.  I accept many things from many people that I probably should not accept, but the “critical spirit” is one thing I can easily recognize and will not accept.  I know the difference between conviction and condemnation.  The Holy Spirit stressed this to me long ago, “The difference between conviction and condemnation is LOVE.”  Why are you trying to convince them of something?  Is it for God’s glory or your own reason of someone agreeing and coming to YOUR way of thinking?  Before you speak, think about your words and the point you are trying to get across.  If that word is spoken in love and concern for the other person, and the words come out as such, then speak them.  Ask yourself this, “Would I want someone to speak this to me, and in this tone, and with these words?”  If so, speak, and speak clearly.  Otherwise, we would thank those to keep their opinions and condemnations to themselves.

Pull the log out of your own eye first – Then – GENTLY – remove the speck from your brother or sister’s eye – GENTLY.

Pulpits and Altars

Thursday morning and I’m feeling a bit strung out and maybe a bit hung-over?  No, I didn’t go out and tie one on last night, but evening service was really good – Again.  (seems they always are)  I was blessed to see more and more people going to the altar at the beginning of service and even before services.  This is so terribly missing in most churches today.  We come in and gab about this and that and what is going on in our life (and setting up where we will eat afterward), but we forget WHY we are there.  The services are programed and choreographed to the exact minute.  But where is God in all this?  I love that I can come in and the cross is on the high-place and I can kneel on the steps to worship with others.

By worship, I don’t mean what the modern church calls worship.  I mean old-fashioned, Old Testament Worship.  Face down before my Lord.  Exalting Him above me and honoring Him.  It is in those times that there is no music, no grand speeches, no singing; it is just me, bowing before the Creator of all things.  So many have forgotten (or perhaps never knew) how to truly worship.

Too many churches have the choir and the pulpit on the “high-place” and the altar is down below, at ground level.  To me, that says something, but that something is not good at all.  It is likely inadvertent or perhaps a bit ignorant that we switched the altar to the low-place and the pulpit to the high-place.  I would hate to think it was deliberate (that would change things from simply ignorance to stupidity), but the statement is there, regardless of the reason.  Men and choirs have been physically placed above the altar, so is the symbolism in that gesture.

Although I disagree with some of the teachings of the Catholic Church, I can agree with one thing for certain – The location of the main altar.  This is the most-high-place in the sanctuary.  The symbolic reverence is there.  The “Holy of Holies” is above all else and is revered as sacred.  God is seen as above all.  The pulpit and the choir are lower and away from the most holy place.  This says something about who God is.

Certainly, the Holy Spirit dwells in us and with us, but we have become rather flippant in our adoration to the One who can hold the universe in His hands.  We give more honor and respect to police and mayors and other officials, than we give the One God who has the power to set them in place or remove them from those positions.

Jesus died a horrific death, just so we could be saved and have eternal life.  Jesus took OUR punishment.  This was not a minor thing.  I have received visions of what took place and they horrified me.  The movie, “The Passion of the Christ”, did not do justice to the brutal murder of Jesus.  Jesus should have died when he was scourged.  Any normal man would have, but He had not suffered enough for sins we have done, and continue to do.  But Jesus, God made man, took our penalties WILLINGLY.  He did not have to do this but He did it out of Love for us.  When was the last time someone was willing to be beaten and whipped and nailed to a post to bleed to death for you…So you could live?  When was the last time you got on the floor and honored God, and thanked Him for what he has done – Willingly?

Let’s put the pulpit and the music leaders and so on, back on the main floor – With all the rest of the people.  Then, let’s put the altar back on the High-Place, where it belongs.  Once that is done, I think you can figure out the rest.

We can all climb Sinai now. But the High-Place still belongs to God, not us.

Valentine’s Day

Another Valentine’s Day rolls through.  I really went all out this year.

I checked and filled my car’s oil, topped off the fuel, and then went to the hardware store to buy a new can-opener (the crank kind, not electric).  While I was in such an overly-exuberant mood, I drove over to Rio Grande City, to the H.E.B. grocery store and bought some groceries.  All along the way I saw the roadside stands filled with all the Valentine’s gift baskets and such, for those who had a reason to purchase such things but did not have time to go shopping for them; they had to just grab something quick and on the run.  For 13 years, I have not been “burdened” with such things.  Lucky me, huh?

After purchasing groceries for one, I treated myself to lunch for one, at the Chinese buffet.  Dining alone is so easy, as no one complains about where we eat.  The cost is cut by half or more as well.  I left and drove back to Roma and I am now back in the house, alone.  There is something to be said for “Consistency”.  At least I always know what to expect, or (more accurately) not expect.

After 13 years of this, my prayer is the same as it has been for as long as I can recall, and for every holiday or every special day of every kind, every year, it is the same prayer every time… “Lord, maybe next year…”  But then there is “Consistency” even in that prayer.

With all this excitement in a single day, I think I’ll take a nap – Unless someone objects……

I thought not.

Says More Than Can Be Expressed...

Only the Good Stuff (Rain update added)

Although I have made many journal entries in recent days, I feel that most are not of the nature that anyone would care to read.  Consequently, those has been either omitted entirely, or edited out of the following post.  I will only say that I am trying to “…focus on all things good…”, but admittedly, this is a small portion of what is happening.  95% (actually more) of the time is spent trying to keep focused on the remaining 5% (actually less).  With that in mind, let’s take a look at the 5%….

February 10, 2012: Good Problems

What do you do when people are so in love with the presence of the Holy Spirit that they do not want to go home?  This is a good problem to have, but it is still a problem.  I say this because the bible study and prayer meeting at Melida’s home last night lasted until mid-night again.  I wanted to get people out of there at a more reasonable hour but when the Holy Spirit shows up, no one wants to leave.  People need to work on Friday morning and children need to get to school, so such a late hour is not practical.  Still, there is another concern of attempting to manage the Holy Spirit.  We are well aware that we don’t want to quench what the Spirit is doing.

The turnout was good and we had a new couple show up.  They were in their 30’s maybe? (I am a poor guesser at ages.)  We started out with a session of just getting some questions answered for people.  Although I felt I knew what I needed to do already, I knew that I needed to address some confusion some had been having with their bible studies and spiritual walk.  Much of the discussion of the entire evening revolved around prayer and intercession.  This is not uncommon.  There are many teachings about what prayer is and how to pray properly and so on.  Although, there are certain aspects to a healthy prayer life that are important, too many times prayer becomes a system or is methodized into a step-by-step procedure.  Prayer then becomes work, instead of enjoyable.  I can see that this is something to speak on at greater length in the future.

Although there were numerous passages and teachings I would have loved to share; the Lord clearly spoke to me that we were to go directly to Hebrews 6 (verses 1-3) and focus on these six foundations.  These needed clarification and there was a needed understanding that these are important to know and have firmly in place, but there is much more beyond these foundations.  It is necessary to move beyond these things and lay the rest of the blocks and bricks on them and build the rest of the house.  We do not need to keep relaying the same foundation, over and over.  This was the focus of the study for the night: Understanding that it is necessary to move on to greater maturity, especially in these days, in which we also discussed the scriptural signs of our times.  The bride needs to put on her battle gear and we cannot do that by continually, re-laying foundational teachings.

The time of prayer was so incredibly blessed.  Last week there was excitement and energy and a lot of motion and commotion.  This week was so peaceful and quiet and calm.  The Spirit moved in an entirely different manner.  He leads and moves so many different ways.  We never know what to expect, but we know it will be wonderful.

There was one confirmed, instant-healing last night.  A sore back, arm and neck, with pinched nerves and a lot of pain was healed.  The symptoms had been present for weeks (possibly longer), but were healed instantly.  There were other physical conditions which were greatly improved during the prayers and the healing process was started.  Sometimes God heals instantly and sometimes He does it over a certain time.  He has His reasons for why He does things differently.  I am eager to hear the results of those who woke up this morning and find they were healed overnight.  I know for certain that this was going to happen in at least one instance, and spoke that last night.

As we were praying for one person, one woman spoke a word in Spanish.  I waited to speak what the Holy Spirit had given me, as she said whatever it was that she was led to say.  When she finished, I spoke what the Holy Spirit gave me.  People began to laugh immediately, but I did not feel at all ashamed or in error.  I had a peace in what I had spoken and, instead of feeling self-conscious about the laughter, I felt relaxed.  That is when they told me that I said in English, the same thing that she just spoke in Spanish!  This did not happen just once but happened 3 times!!  (Remember, I don’t speak Spanish and had no idea what was being said.)  Only the Holy Spirit can do that!  This was absolute confirmation that the words spoken were true and would come to pass.  Praise the Lord!

February 13, 2012: Bits and Pieces

Services yesterday were seemingly uneventful, insofar as being at spiritual levels previously experienced, but God was working in a different way.  In the morning service, on the US side, there were more people crying out during the worship time and many who went to the altar, alone, to kneel and pray and seek God at the end of the service.  There were considerably fewer seeking someone else to pray for them.  I believe this is a good thing when people seek God for themselves and don’t rely on the faith and prayers of others always.  We certainly need those prayers but not in exclusion of our own time of seeking God.

I received messages of counsel and had thought they were to be delivered to the congregation in general, but later came to understand that they were for individuals, so I spoke the various words that way to each person.  Each got a different word.  As I finished, I looked over at John and he was sitting in a group and it appeared that he was doing the same sort of counseling.  I guess that is the way the Spirit chose to move.  I only pray that the counsel was effective.  I trust it was, but one always tends to wonder for a while and I know that I tend to seek confirmations that I did the right things, the right way.

I got just such confirmation of hearing correctly from the Spirit and doing the right thing, after last night’s service.  The young lady I spoke of in the bible and prayer service a couple weeks ago was at the service, as she usually is, and still wearing that big smile that she had received during prayer that night.  She does not speak English, so I had to have someone translate and John was available at this time, so John got to hear it too.)  That was the night this young lady sat in the chair crying and receiving prayer and as that was happening, I was told by the Holy Spirit to turn around and bring another young lady forward as we prayed for the first one.  I did not know why I was to do it; I only knew that it was to be done.  We prayed for a double-blessing and to heal both at the same time.  The second lady just threw her arms over the one in the chair and embraced her so wonderfully that the two seemed to merge.  God was doing something special but I did not know what.  Before it was over, the girl in the chair had been transformed from a dark complexion and crying, to an absolute glow and smiling.  Her actual skin tone had been brightened and I was not the only one to notice and comment on the change.  But no one knew what exactly took place.

When she shared last night about what happened in that prayer meeting, I was so blessed with the confirmation.  I will not speak of her needs and troubles that night but I will share how she was blessed (and so was I, when I heard this).  As she sat in the chair that night, she was surrounded by people who were praying from a distance, while some held her hand or laid on their hands to her.  But she said that the whole while, what she prayed quietly was for someone to just hold her and hug her.  She said that was when the other girl came in from behind and flung herself over her and threw her arms around her.  Her prayer was answered by a simple word from the Spirit and my motioning the second young lady forward.  Neither of these young women spoke English, but such obstacles are nothing when we yield to the Holy Spirit.  Consequently, prayers were answered and blessings came forth.  My greatest blessing was getting to take part in their blessing.  That alone is VERY special to me.

Last night, during evening service, it came to me to place some pictures on here of what it looks like around here.  It is a far cry from what people might think.  I’m going to start carrying my camera around more and take pictures where I can (or am allowed).  Hopefully, these can be posted in about a week or so.  Stay tuned for them.


There is a buzz about all the rain that we are receiving here.  This is not normal at all in many ways.  The first is that this area has been in a severe drought all year.  Everything was either dead or dying.  As I came into the area, I began to pray for rain.  Constantly, I was led to pray as such; however, I was praying more for spiritual rain, but both are needed here.  Just over two weeks ago, I was led in a vision to the top of a hill and I saw the rain coming.  The Lord confirmed that later in the day, with a special sign, and I spoke it in the Mexico service that night.  That night, the rain started and a lot of rain fell that night.  The rest of the week saw a spot of drizzle here and there.  (I already shared all this in a previous post.)

The following Sunday evening, I received another special sign that the rain was coming and visions to back it up, but I did not speak them.  Since then, it has rained nearly every day!  Things are greening up and crops are looking great.  The farmers are thrilled.  But it gets more incredible…

I did not realize this until another shared the information.  The rain is only in this area of Texas.  The remainder of Texas is in a drought.  The only area receiving rain starts about where I began to pray on my way down here.  Hmmmm…  But it gets even more unusual, in that the rain is not coming from the usual direction.  The rain is pushing AGAINST the normal weather systems and is pushing east-to-west, rather than west-to-east.  The rain is coming in from the gulf coast, which is so rare as to almost say that it never happens.  However, it is not only happening, but it is happening for days and days on end.  It was two-weeks ago that the first rain came and it is still raining off and on today.  This is unheard of and has caused quite a bit of wonder for many.

For many weeks before this, I was brought back to the scripture, ‘Elijah was a man like any of us, but when he prayed for rain to stop and to start again, it did.’  This verse jumped out at me several years ago and burned in me.  Elijah was just like me.  I kept thinking, if God did it with Elijah, God can do it with anyone willing to walk as Elijah walked.  There is much more to it but that is the short of it.  God led me to pray as such.  God showed me the rain.  God gave me the small sign.  All I had to do then was tell what God was going to do.  It is ALL God.  I understand that fact, but I can’t help but feel extremely blessed in how God chose to work.

Have a Blessed Day!

Typical View in South Texas - Note How Dry

Random Happenings

So much is happening that it is difficult to keep it all straight and see all that is going on.  Every day brings new revelations, blessings, and some struggles too.  But I know that God is working powerfully in all this and I have been blessed, as have many others.  I am going to try to assemble some of the happenings in a single post, so forgive me if this seems to ramble or appears random.  Many of these things are follow-up to previous postings; so, if you have been following along, you’ll know the story behind the story.  If you haven’t been following, then you will need to refer to past postings to get the significance of some of the things I am about to share.

I had been praying for rain in this “dry and dusty land”, since I arrived.  I was primarily referring to spiritual rain though.  When we had the Sunday evening service a week and a half ago, I spoke the rain was coming, as God had showed me in visions, and words of knowledge, and confirmed with natural signs (this is one of many references to previous posts but the only one I will designate as such.  If you want more, just scan the postings.).  The very next morning, we awoke to rain.  The rain fell a couple times in that week.  Then, the Lord gave me another sign this past Sunday and confirmed the rain to fall again.  However, I did not bother to repeat the previous week’s message.  It has rained every day since then and is forecasted to rain for at least 10 more days.  So, what is so significant about this you ask?  This area has been in a severe drought for most of the entire year.  The normal yearly rainfall around here is about 10-inches.  This is typically NOT the wet time of year.  Now you can see the significance.  We are seeing the spiritual being manifested in the natural!  There is a spiritual rain falling as well.  The natural rain is simply a confirmation of the spiritual happenings.  I continue to speak this truth.  Some get it.  Some don’t.

In last week’s Thursday night bible study and prayer group, I saw the two cloth sacks.  One was a sand bag and the other full of gold coin.  I spoke of these and shared the vision with the group, as a prophetic message to many in the group.  Some received their portion of the message/vision that night, but Sunday morning service contained a special testimony.  A woman got up to say how God had blessed her with much needed money a day or two after the Thursday evening gathering.  She had gone to the pawn shop to pawn her cell phone for the money she needed.  She prayed before going into the shop for God to bless her in the transaction, but the shop would not purchase her phone.  She came out of the store feeling less than blessed.  Then she suddenly recalled the prophetic vision on Thursday evening and went to the ATM to see if – Just maybe…  Sure enough; there was several thousand dollars in her account!  There was to be some money coming but it was not to arrive for quite some time.  She stated that it was made clear to her that the money would not be available for weeks, and there was no way to speed up the process – But God…  This is just one more prophecy coming to pass.  The list of fulfilled words is piling up fast.  Thank you, Lord!

This week, on Tuesday evening, Pastor John and I went into Mexico, for a prophetic conference that was being held in a small church.  The place was tiny (About the size of my living room, dining room, and kitchen combined) but it was packed.  Of course, everything was in Spanish, but they played my favorite song twice, in Spanish.  I flowed back and forth from singing in English, to tongues, and occasionally even singing in Spanish!  (Question: How does one sing in Spanish, when they don’t know Spanish?  Answer: Holy Spirit!)  During the service, the Lord told me that this night was not for me.  It had nothing to do with me.  Ok, no problem, no expectation, no disappointment.  I can handle that, so I just go with the flow.

After the service, we were invited to the Mexican pastor’s home.  While we were at the pastor’s home, a spirit of depression came on me hard; very hard.  I had to go outside for a while and try and compose myself, but it was not working.  I couldn’t shake it.  When we left, the nearest border bridge was closed, so we had to drive in the dark, late at night, through a war zone that led us into remote areas.  It was a dangerous place to be but I was not afraid, still the depression and sadness came on me even stronger.  I was so bound that I could not speak.  When we got to the house, I went straight to bed without a word.  The last two nights have been rough sleeping.  I am plagued with nightmares all night long and awakened repeatedly, due to the visions in those dreams.  I only have “theories” about this, but no true revelation, so I will not comment further.

Last night, we had a wonderful time of worship in the church.  The Holy Spirit was there so wonderfully that I was weak, drunk, and very relaxed.  It is always more than simply wonderful to soak in the presence of the Spirit that way.  John then delivered the message we heard in Mexico on Tuesday night.  It was on Joseph in Potiphar’s service (Genesis 39).  This message has prophetic significance to me, as did a word that Lulu shared afterward.  She received the word from God, during the worship time.  Before we left, a woman came to me and gave me some money toward my ministry.  She said the Spirit put it on her to do so.  This is the first that I have ever received from another for furthering my ministry, so her hearing and leading by the Spirit is significant to me.

After the service, John and I went out to eat and talk.  John shared with me a report on something supernatural that is being manifested in the natural.  Although, John did not see it as I did and was skeptical of the report.  To me, it seemed perfectly in-line with what God was sharing with me.  Perhaps, some will think I’m strange (Ok, many already think I am strange), but the sightings of 7 to 8 foot tall, warriors coming out of Mexico and into the US does not sound strange or far-fetched at all.  The Philistine army (The evil army of giants) is moving forward.  War has been declared.  The spiritual army of evil is on the move and the army of the church is not mobilizing as they should.  This was when I discovered that the intercessory back-up that I thought had been our covering, was actually not covering us!  I attempted to calmly stress the importance and significance of what was happening.  I’m not sure if I was successful in conveying my serious concerns.  For me, there are some substantial downfalls to being sensitive to the Spirit.  Among them is: People don’t take me seriously on such matters, which leaves me feeling that I carry the load alone.  I believe this is connected to the depression and nightmares, but have not received a true revelation as yet.

I finished watching the Healing Impartation DVD’s yesterday.  I watched them over and over, for the past couple weeks.  My days are spent watching and studying the DVD’s, studying the Word, and journaling.  This is where my mind stays – The things of God.  Tonight, I will lead a bible study and then a prayer meeting, while John and some others go back over to Mexico for another night of the prophetic conference.  I have several passages to share but continue to seek leading on what God wants to do, and not what I want to do, so I will spend most of today in prayer and listening and waiting on direction.

I sent out a couple emails of encouragement to a couple pastor/missionaries yesterday.  I got one response so far.  Although, I am glad for the quick response, the response was less than heartwarming.  Ah well, such is life.  I’ll leave it at that.

Hoping your day is blessed!

It is the hills and valleys that make the Journey interesting and beautiful. Enjoy the scenery!

Alone With God

“Prophet’s Depression”; that’s what I call it these days.  Like when Elijah had his powerful day with the Lord, and slew 450 of the prophets – Alone – And then ends up hiding in the cave – Alone.  It seems as I read of several episodes of Elijah’s life, as well as in the lives of Moses, David, Jeremiah, Isaiah, and a host of others, many of these powerful men of God went through deep depression at times.  There were incredible highs but also incredible lows.  I know those lows and that depression very well, too well in fact.  I know the feeling of loneliness and rejection, which these men of God also felt.  I know, as these others also knew, how to be in a crowd of people and feel more alone than can be described in words.  I know the feeling of the solitude, and of being unloved and unwanted by so many; especially by those whom I love dearly.

What makes matters worse is when those who are religious (head knowledge and usually all-knowing, and often documentation or certificate holders), or spiritual (but I sometimes question which “Spirit), or further along in their walk (which usually means “saved” longer – I.e., spiritual seniority), or however we wish to describe them (I often lump these groups all together and refer to them as “church-people”), essentially condemn me.  I doubt that most condemn me intentionally, but intentional or not, the more they speak, the worse I feel.  These people claim to be speaking for God, but why do they speak in ways that cause me more pain?  Is that how God speaks?  God has spoken firmly to me at times but I always still feel that I am loved as He does.  Why then do these claiming to be speaking God’s words to me, cut me to the bone and beyond?  I am certainly not condemning what they think they are speaking, but if they truly are speaking God’s words; God is a tyrant.  I can no longer accept that notion.  I spent too many years sitting in the wrong chair because I listened to the wrong people and trusted what they said.

Do I see the problem as being within me?  Yes, in so many ways, Yes.  Do I have a clue how to fix me?  No, in all ways, No.  Some say I just don’t know God enough.  Typically, these people clarify that this is because I don’t spend enough time alone with Him.  Hmmmm?  I guess the 12 years alone in my home, with no one around, does not fit the idea of being alone with God.  Hours and hours and days spent on end in God’s Word do not fit the idea either.  Sitting quietly for hours and just listening, through the day and all through the night, just listening, does not fit being alone with God either.  Countless hours of praising and praying alone, both in the natural and in the spirit, both in services and at home, do not constitute being alone with God.  Sitting alone on a tractor for hours and praising as I worked in the field is not alone enough either.  Even as I sit here in South Texas, along the Mexico border, I am still alone most of the time.  Even when I am with others in this place, I don’t speak the language, so I am still alone and use the time to focus on God and pray and listen.

Others want me to keep digging up the past and seek deliverance, as I chew and chew and chew on old, dry, dead bones.  There is no meat left on those bones, and no flavor either.  They just hurt my teeth and wear them down.  How does focusing behind me help me to move forward?  I don’t drive my car by constantly looking in the mirrors and watching and studying where I was.  Sure, I recognize the past.  I understand how much hurt there has been and that hurt is deep inside me, but digging it up over and over does not seem like a good way to get beyond that hurt.

A few years ago, God touched me in an extra-special way.  I was so free that I could not believe the weight that came off me in that moment.  It literally felt as if I was encased in concrete and it all shattered in an instant.  Anger and bitterness were gone.  Understanding and love remained; however, the hurt and disappointment was still there.  It still is.  It is deep.  But I still felt such freedom that I was bursting at the seams.  Most certainly, the hurts remained but there was a joy that went far beyond words.  I felt no condemnation at all and I could feel closeness with God that was incredible and beyond description.

Then, the worst possible thing could have happened…The church-people began to come in and finish what God had started.  I needed to do this and that, and I needed to stop doing that and this.  I had to change things that I felt no conviction over and had to do so many things – according to them.  But it got worse.  These church-people were giving me conflicting orders.  Not only did the individuals conflict with each other, but some of them conflicted even with themselves!  One time the person told me one thing and the next time that same person hit me with something else – Contrary to the first directive!  In professional psychiatric terms, this is called “Double Binding”.  In layman’s terms, it is called “Damned if you do and damned if you don’t”.  Regardless of what you choose to call it, it will destroy a person and has been proven to cause psychotic behaviors.  In extreme cases, it leads to murder, serial-killing, and suicides.  It will definitely kill and destroy.

If you know who the being is, the one who seeks to kill and destroy, it is easy to understand why God told me to get out of those circles.  (Sadly, this is why so many do not attend a church.)  When it got out that God told me to get away from those who sow such destruction into me, these same sowers-of-destruction, started telling me that was not God speaking and I was hearing from the devil and following satan.  Thank you, church-people, for even more condemnation spoken from ‘god’.  (I use small “g” because I do not accept their words as being from the same “God” who set me free.  God would not free me, just to put me back into bondage.)  The Holy Spirit stressed to me that “Conviction without love is Condemnation.”  Too many were speaking their personal thoughts and opinions to me and claiming divine revelation.  In their minds, they may likely believed in what they thought I needed to hear, but that was the exact issue: It was what they thought I needed to hear.

Anyway, I digress…then again; maybe I needed to reflect, in order to put things in perspective…

Most of the modern, American church doesn’t need me, or want me.  I don’t carry the proper credentials, but the pastors will bless me by receiving my tithe; while even avoiding me in the hallway.  Others are very willing to disciple me and to bring me into ministering for others and to grow me – For a fee.  My ex-wife did not need or want me; though she had no problem with me cleaning up her financial messes and catering to her “needs”, but I truly did not feel loved or wanted.  My own children don’t seem to want me or need me, except for the same reasons.  I am not allowed to confide my hurts or loves to them and our lives are not to be shared – Truly shared.  Although, I have four grandsons, I am not allowed to see them and was even told by my oldest son that he didn’t care if I ever saw his two sons.  I have to keep a continuous smile on my face or risk rejection, but for a fee or price, I can get someone to listen or pretend they care.

Most certainly, God does not need me either — BUT God wants me.  That is difficult to grasp for me at times.  Why would God, the Creator of all things want me?  Surely God has plenty of others who are better than I and are more deserving.  But God has shown over and over that He does indeed love me and wants me – Even though He does not need me.  This is why His wanting me is so special to me; even when those others have no want for me.  God does not need me because there is nothing I have that God requires.  God asks nothing of me, except for just…me.  That is all God wants – just me.

God loving me is not the issue.  I wish people would stop with that nonsense already.  I don’t need deliverance.  God did that already.  I need to feel loved by another and by others.  I need to feel that someone really cares for me… that someone really WANTS me.  The “church-people”, who keep trying to perfect what God has already done, don’t get this simple thing.  Just let me feel loved and wanted.  Is that so difficult?  So, Being Alone with God to feel loved is not the issue.  On the contrary, it is my family, and the church-people, who have no problem helping me to feel alone and unwanted in this world.

“My “House” WILL be restored.”  This was prophesied to me years ago, but has been long in coming and heartbreaking nearly to the point of literal, physical death.  God did not intend for me to be alone like this, and in God’s will, He has been working to rectify this.  I believe this.  However, we are all “free-agents” and can work against what God has willed.  God will not force obedience to His will.  Therefore, I remain alone, waiting.  The detail of what kind of restoration God will do has not been revealed, but He will replace what has been stolen.  I believe this.

Waiting has been tough though, tougher than can be explained, but I cannot change people.  God could change people, but He will not force anyone to change, for the same reasons I would not change people, even if I could…. It is not love to force any change on someone.  (In fact, this is manipulation and the bible refers to this as witchcraft.)  If they don’t want me, then what good is it to force them to want me?  Forcing this is not truly having them want me.  God taught me this simple truth.

I absolutely do need God for salvation, but more importantly, I want God in my life for relationship.  Imagine how much more alone I would be, if I were not alone with God?  He is the only reason I still exist in this body.  If it were up to others, I would have ended this hurt long ago.  But God has better plans for me.  He told me so, the last time we were alone together… just as I am typing this.

Alone With My Savior

“Look at the Angels!”

The trip into Mexico will not be taking place today.  Things came up that prevented it, but I accept that such a trip was not to be taken today.  All things will happen in God’s timing, and I’m trusting in that.  It simply gives more time to prepare.

Thursday evening bible study and prayer were even more incredible than before.  I continue to think, “It can’t get any better than this.”  Then it does!  I never left until after midnight.  There was so much happening in releasing of burdens and blessings.  Yokes were smashed and bonds were made.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

The evening started as supposed to be a bible study but instead was hearing of testimonies and discussion of the wonderful things that God is doing in the church body.  There are so many who are being touched and many testified that they are nearly slain in the spirit by simply driving onto the property.  Others are nearly knocked down as they enter the building.  When the service is ended, no one wants to leave.  That’s what happens when God’s anointing is present.  Why would anyone want to leave when God is sitting right there?!

We discussed the prophetic again and I explained more on the subject.  (I had recently spoken on it for two weeks but that was a rough overview of prophetic calling.)  Now we were discussing prophetic worship and prophetic acts and moving to higher plains – Especially in the area of praise and worship.  These people are Hungry!!!  That is exciting to me.  There are so few who are as hungry for the things of God as those I have seen here.

We started to pray for one another, a little after 9 pm.  As the first words were prayed over the first person, I saw two small cloth bags over us.  They were about gallon-sized.  One was tied closed and filled with sand, as if a weight, and I also sensed a set of scales, but I did not see them.  I also saw another bag, which was open.  I then saw a hand take away the sandbag and a second hand begin to pour out the second bag that was open.  It poured over the center of the group.  There was a chair in the middle where the one receiving ministry would sit.  As the bag was poured out, I saw it was filled with gold coins.  When the first prayer ended, I spoke what I had seen and clarified that I did not know if the gold coin was mammon-wealth or spiritual-wealth.  No one cared which it was.  They were excited for either.  No one knew the full understanding of this vision, but by the end of the night it was obvious.

Everyone wanted prayer that night.  There were 22 people attending.  We ran out of places to sit.  What a terrific problem to have!  As one person had received prayer from the group and that particular prayer was ending, those leading the prayer began to move on to the next person.  But suddenly it came to me that it was not time to move on and I stepped in and stated that it was vitally important to allow everyone a chance to speak what the Lord had given them, either in a word or a vision, and we needed to allow a chance in this prayer group to let them learn to grow in the gifts – Without condemnation, if they miss.  As soon as I said that, there was another woman who stepped forward with the word that she had gotten – She was right on!  The door was opening.

As we continued, I saw those leading prayer begin to change from one to another to another.  Sometimes certain ones would step forward and other times someone else brought the word.  Then one young lady came into the chair and did not want to say what she needed prayer for.  I had seen her across the room earlier and this young lady was so sad and there was such darkness and despair in her face and such tears in her eyes, but the Lord only allowed me to know of the great pain in her soul but not the details.  I felt to step into leading this one and as I stood behind her and started to address the darkness, the Lord prompted me to turn to the one behind me.  Behind me was another young lady weeping.  (Neither of these ladies knew English.)  I reached to pull and motion the one behind me to come forward and got someone to tell her God wanted her to come forward.  I did not know what God had planned.  I only knew this was His will.

The young woman came forward and began to try and pray through her tears, as she stood where I was.  I stepped out of the way and prayed and watched to see what God wanted to do.  This young lady suddenly fell over the shoulders of the young lady in the chair and the two were melted together as one.  I reached out and placed my right hand over them and just kept repeating, “Double, Lord, double healing…”  There were so many others rushing in and the closeness of them all melted into a heap of prayers.  The embrace was so powerful that my knees buckled under the weight of the Spirit.  This type of thing happened over and over during the night.

As that prayer ended for the first young lady, she returned across the room to where she had been and the second young lady sat in the chair.  As prayer started, I knew God was not finished with the last prayer, and, using motions and others to translate, I called the first young lady back to pray for the one who just embraced her.  Several were praying and it was obvious that she was not comfortable praying for another, but she was not able to get out of it now.  Again I stood back to see what God had planned.  As the young woman stood praying quietly and nervously, her entire countenance changed.  By the time the second young lady had finished the prayer, her face literally glowed!!!!  It was not just happy, but radiant.  Everyone was so amazed that all continued to comment on her glow.  There was a smile on her face that seemed to cover her entire head.  Wonderful, Lord!

At some point, another woman sat down.  I stepped forward as the Lord led me and asked what she needed prayer for.  She stated that she wanted God to simply give her whatever God wanted to give.  Instantly, I knew what to do.  I immediately asked however many who had a prayer language to come forward to pray and we were going to leave this “Totally” up to the Spirit.  About 8 people began to pray aloud in the Spirit.  One woman began to prophesy at one point.  All were overcome with the Spirit.  I saw a window open above us and angels entering into the room.  The angels were coming down and going back up.  It was like I was seeing “Jacob’s Ladder.”  Just as I saw this, another person exclaimed, “Look at the angels!”  Then another said, “There are angels all around us!”  It was not until after we finished praying over the woman that I revealed what I was seeing, but others saw the angels too.

These kinds of things continued for hours and undoubtedly there were sandbags removed and spiritual treasures poured out.  God made good on His vision.

There are no words amazing enough for such an experience.  So again, it is hard to imagine that it could get any better than this, but I know better now.  God is just getting started.  We cannot begin to imagine what He has in store for us.

"Look at the Angels!" "The Angels are all around us!"

Stretch, Stretch, Stretch

Thursday morning here and I have been up since before 5 am.  Already, I have been blessed.  God woke me up and immediately started speaking to me.  I love it when He does that.  I got up and got dressed and then spent a couple hours just listening quietly, as I lay on the couch.

When John got up, we went to the men’s monthly breakfast at the Roma Community Center.  Again I was blessed.  Here we are, about 4 blocks from a war zone, and well over 60 men came in before work to pray and worship and fellowship together.  These were men from all levels of society.  They ranged from a guy from a small farm in Alvada, Ohio (population of about 30), to mechanics, to general maintenance men, to doctors, and high government officials.  The chief of police was there, as were local and even federal judges.  Roma, Texas is not a large city and I would venture to guess it is in about the 15,000 to 20,000 population range.  To have such a turnout on a weekday morning, and so early (before 7), is quite a testimony.  Add in the factor of the economy here and the proximity to the war zone and it is nothing short of amazing.  It is important to note that although the war in Mexico is no longer a hot news story, it is far from over.

This Saturday, I am going with two other men, well into Mexico to do some spiritual warfare.  I don’t know what God wants to do but I know I am to go, so…  One of the men owns the ranch where we are going to minister. The other man is going along as one of the church leaders and as translator (The ranch owner speaks no English and I speak no Spanish.)  Neither of these men are risking taking their wives into the area.  That speaks volumes in itself.

Last night’s service was another good one.  I guess they are all good in their own ways.  Again, the turnout is unusual.  It is typical to see at least one-third of the congregation turn out for a weeknight service that will last several hours.  It is really no different from the Sunday morning service, but people will come in and stay late, even with it being a work and school night.  John sat at the back of the sanctuary and was able to just take things in.  I delivered the message that the Lord had given me, and Lulu did the translating for me.  I’m being stretched in many ways and excited about it.  Who would have ever guessed any of this would have ever been destined for my life?  The most incredible thing is that I know this is just the beginning.

God is doing wonderful things in this rough and tough land, and He has blessed me to take part in what He is doing.  How can one express that feeling of acceptance and growth?  Back home, it is tough to get many of the pastors to even give me the time of day, let alone to have the pastor sit in the last row of seats and allow me to minister to the congregation from the pulpit.  Even more so, John has given me the freedom to pray and to prophesy to individuals as I feel led.  He does not hover over me, as if not trusting, or as if I were to try and usurp his authority.  On the contrary, John has allowed me to grow and has given me some very good insights.  Several of the things John has spoken to me were confirmation of what God had already said to me.  That is a comfort in itself.

It is now going on 10 am.  I can’t wait to see what God will teach me today.

"...This Prophecy Has Been Fulfilled This Day..." (Luke 4:14-30)

Pour Out The Flood Gates of Heaven

Where to begin?  That’s the big question.  There have been several journal entries made over the past few days but nothing worth placing on the blog.  Most were of studies, and struggles and personal reflections.  Today is a totally different situation though.  I suppose the best place to start is with yesterday morning and attempt, as best I can, to recall some of what has taken place in the last 24-hours.  There is not enough time or space to recount it all but I will do what I can to hit the main points and give enough detail so the significance is not lost.

Yesterday morning (Sunday) I lay in bed, in prayer.  This is something I used to do daily but had gotten so I didn’t do it as I was; however, the need is so great here that I spend an hour or two every morning just lying and praying and listening.  As I did this yesterday, I was suddenly taken up and came up over a hillside.  As I was coming over the hillside, I looked off into the horizon and saw a great rain coming across the plain below.  There was a torrential downpour coming out of the west and moving eastward.  It was very dark gray below the clouds from the heaviness of the downpour.  The rain was coming straight down.  There was now wind with it.  It seemed that the rain was west of our location and headed our direction.  The hill I was on was a bit north of the path of the rain.  Although I am not familiar with this view anywhere in this area, I am sure it is here because the view was a typical south-Texas view.  I felt nothing, either good or bad, about the vision.  Later, I shared it with John but I did not yet understand the significance of it.

Before morning service, I had the opportunity to finally get some things in line to go and visit a ranch in Mexico.  This is not a social visit though.  The first day I was in service, I was called upon to pray for and give whatever words the Lord gave me to the people.  During that encounter with God, there were a few who really stood out in various ways (All of the Lord though).  One of those was a man named Himae (High-may) and his wife.  For the past couple weeks, Himea has been on my mind and heart constantly.  I cannot get the vision the Lord gave me out of my mind, as soon as I stood before Himae that day.  It was just over a week ago that I finally spoke to Pastor John, saying that I needed to go to Himae’s ranch.  I felt that Baldo and Lulu really needed to be there.  John was totally opposed for reasons that he was very busy and did not have time to go so far into Mexico, but was agreeable that Baldo, Lulu, and I would go without him.  This was fine because I felt that it was mainly for the three of us anyway and the purpose for having John along was so not to give the feeling of undermining his authority in the church.

So, before service, I spoke with Baldo and explained some of the situation and the need to go.  I was still not sure why I had to go but trusted that would be revealed in time.  Baldo was very agreeable to the idea of going into Mexico and immediately went to get Himae to work things out with him.  Himae does not speak English and since I don’t speak Spanish, Baldo had to be our translator.  Baldo expressed some of the idea and Himae was not only agreeable to the visit but welcomed it eagerly.  I explained to Baldo a little of what the Lord had revealed to me regarding Himae and, as Baldo translated, Himae was moved immediately to tears.  God was right!  What I heard was right!  Himae began to reveal so many things that confirmed why God had placed this man on my heart.  Himae is like my Spanish twin.  He has gone through the same things I have experienced.  I realized immediately that part of my reason for being here was to minister to Himae and his situations.  What else God has planned is yet to be revealed, but I am excited for it.  We will be making preparations this week and plan to go to the ranch next Saturday.

At the beginning of the service, I gave a very brief testimony and shared my gratitude to those who prayed for me on Thursday night, and prophetically even acted out the removal of the knives and darts in my back.  My back and arm have been healing steadily ever since.  (For nearly 30 years, many have prayed over this condition but would never remove the knives from my back; even though I have asked this repeatedly, so the healing was always limited and temporary.  Finally, I met some people who were eager to remove MANY knives and darts from my back!)  A woman named Melida then gave her testimony of healing from cancer.  We have been raising her up in prayer and recently stood in agreement with her that she was not to receive chemotherapy.  The report from the doctor Friday was that the cancer is no more!  PRAISE GOD!!!

The service was well blessed and I held back and just let things unfold.  I did not get involved and took a back seat to whatever was happening.  At the end of the service, Pastor John began to go out among those in attendance and pray of individuals.  I retreated to the entryway at the back of the church and praised and prayed as John continued.  At one point, John called me to assist with one young lady.  I did so and then retreated again to praise and pray.

Then I was led by the Spirit to go to the front and continue pray there.  In no time at all there formed a prayer-line across the front of the church and I was led to start at one end and continued from there.  The words flowed incredibly and came so fast as God spoke to so many lives through my mouth.  It was amazing, amazing, amazing.  Suddenly, I came to one young man and I hit a wall.  The words stopped and so did the visions.  I prayed in the Spirit for a while and then just praised God and thanked Jesus for a while.  I stood silently for a while as well.  It was VERY awkward and seemed to last forever.  I could see things that were so vague and blurred and confusing that I could not understand or describe them; although I attempted to do what I could to speak them.  Finally, I prayed aloud about the things that God is not yet ready to reveal and thanked Him that He knew these things and it was not yet time for them to be known.  I moved on to the next person and the flow began again; just as strong as before.  As I continued to step in front of each person, the visions and words flooded me.

When I reached the end of the line, one young lady asked if I recalled what I spoke to her.  Sadly, I did not and she did not speak English and no one translated for her.  I vaguely even recalled seeing her.  This happens often that I speak and have no recollection of what is said or to whom it is said.  Whatever it was that God spoke, it was lost to me.  I felt bad for her situation but knew of no way to retrieve those words.  As I turned back, I saw the line had reformed back across the church and the flow continued; but I admit that I was beginning to tire.  The last words and prayers were finished a little after 1 pm!  The service had lasted over three hours, once again.

There was one man sitting in his seat through all this.  He is a tough looking and rather grizzled old man.  His appearance and demeanor is gruff on the outside.  I have taken note of him before and asked someone about him once.  It seems this man never comes forward for prayer and does not interact with others.  He does not like to be prayed over and will not accept it.  For whatever reason, he does not come forward but I noticed that he was watching intently as things progressed.  When everything was finished, the man left without a word to anyone.

I turned to see where Pastor John was and he had already left the building.  He and I were to drive up to Brooks County, which is about 60 or 70 miles north of here and we were to pray over the county.  This is part of a statewide prayer campaign for Texas.  A similar campaign was done in Ohio last year and I took part in a portion of that as well.  I walked the short distance back to the house and John was grabbing a quick bite to eat before we set out to Brooks County.  We took off for there and did what was needed.  The drive allowed a lot of time to talk about what was happening and the desperate need for more prayer in the church and more discipling of those in the congregation.  We returned home just a few minutes before needing to head over to Mexico for the evening service.

Because of the situation in Mexico and the things we see God doing, John decided to open the service with prayer in the warehouse area (where I sat and prayed during the previous week’s service), instead of the regular room used for service.  As the music began, I started to walk around the outer walls of warehouse area and prayed.  As I did, there were many visions and words poured out to me, and I prayed for each as they came.  Many of the prayers were for the land and area of Mexico.  Many were reference to water, floods, rains, and similar.  At one point, I saw the parting of the Red Sea and the destruction of Pharaoh’s army.  I prayed then that the captives be released from Egypt and brought out of slavery.  There were many, many things brought out in that time of prayer.

Then I turned from walking and stood silently under a light.  Others were either walking or sitting or standing still.  A song then came on that I truly love, “Let it rain.”  I can get lost in that song, so I just let myself go in worship to God.  At one point of the song, I looked down.  At my feet was a feather!!!  (Those who know the significance of the feather will understand my excitement with this, but the story is too long to explain for those who do not.)  I picked up the dainty feather and began to comb the warehouse for more.  I was excited but still understood that a feather in a warehouse is not all that uncommon.  Although I searched all over for quite some time, there was not another feather to be found.  The entire area had received a new concrete floor and was virtually unused and spotless to this point.  My excitement continued at the finding of the feather but I did not yet understand the significance.

John started to deliver the message and I just sat quietly and relaxed and emptied my mind for a while.  It was at this point that God began piecing things together for me.  It was wonderful!  By the time john finished the message he had (in Spanish of course), I had a message for the people.

In short, God spoke to me of the drought during Elijah’s time and how the prophet heard the rain before it came, so he began to pray for that rain.  Elijah sent out his servant seven times to look for the rain and finally, on the seventh time, the servant returned with a good report – A small sign of rain – A cloud the size of a man’s fist.  Elijah moved again in faith and proclaimed the rain was coming.  He immediately sent his servant to tell the others of the coming rain.  Then came the rain.

Here is where God connected it all together for me…

  • I did not hear the rain but instead God showed me the rain yesterday morning, while I lay in bed.
  • Because I saw the rain, I was led by the Spirit to pray in the rain and speak it forth, while we prayed in the warehouse last night.
  • God then sent a small sign to Elijah that the rain was coming – God’s small sign to me was the feather.
  • God then made the connection of  when I received the feather: During the song, “Let it Rain”
  • Elijah then proclaimed the rain was coming – This was the last portion of my word to the church, “The Rain Is Coming!!”
  • Another sign came this morning when I woke up to… Rain.  An outpouring of the Spirit is on the horizon and there are many more things far beyond our imagination coming after that.

After service, John and I talked a bit about what a wonderful day it had been.  It was then that I felt it important to share the vision of the Red Sea and the destruction of Pharaoh’s army.  John then explained that part of his message was on Moses’ leading of the people out of Egypt (again, all in Spanish and I had no idea what he had spoken as a result).  We are most certainly hearing from the same Spirit!

How does one top all this?  You can’t – But God can…

About 4 am, I was awakened by a bright light that was shining in my eyes.  I rose up and looked around but there was no light.  The room was dark.  I looked at my pillow and a light was shining brightly where my head had been laying.  The rest of the pillow was dark.  (This was NOT a vision.  It was in the natural that I saw it.)  It appeared as if a spot light or high-powered flashlight was shining on the pillow.  I looked around the room again to locate the source, but all the room was dark.  I glanced out the window, thinking momentarily that it could be a helicopter and spot-light shining in the window.  (This is somewhat logical due to the military actions in the area.)  Then I realized I would definitely hear a helicopter and the light would not shine in such a small area.  The entire room would be lit up.  This was only in the area where my head was.  I looked around again to see if a light was being reflected from somewhere else but there was no other source to be found.  I looked back at the brightly lit spot and the light suddenly dissipated.  Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much after that.

Thank You, LORD!

The Rain Is Coming

Up, Down, and Sideways

Last Saturday, during the Pastor’s meeting, I received a vision of a wolf snapping his teeth in my face.  That was when I first received the word of the wolf being at the door and lying in wait.  Immediately, I began praying in the Spirit. And then again on Sunday night, while I sat in the warehouse and prayed during evening service, I again saw the wolf trying to come, but he was not right in my face as he was the day before.  This time the wolf was about two-feet away (Saturday his teeth were about two-inches from my nose!).  I continued to pray and each time the wolf attempted to turn toward me a metal rod would knock him back again and turn the wolf sideways to me.  The wolf kept trying to turn toward me and continued to be knocked back by the metal rod.  I thought the looked a lot like an old-time cattle prod but there was no electricity and no spark.  It was still effective in keeping the wolf at bay.

Then, as I continued to pray, I was led to pray for more intercessors.  We need more prayer warriors.  A lot more!  When John received the voice message Tuesday morning about the prayer group seeing the enemy pushing back in this area and coming against us, that they were interceding for us, and that God is restoring things here, I was blown away!!!  These are the things I have seen also, and prayed over, and John and I have discussed at length.  But I did not understand the fullness of the call and what God was doing with these prayer warriors.  It turns out that the call was not only for confirmation of these things, but the entire group consists of approximately 300 warriors, and they are being led to come here for a prayer conference.  WOW!

Here is where it gets even more incredible…  It has prophesied to me years ago about various parts and portions of my ministry and that the ministry I would be led into would follow along several biblical patterns.  Among these was Gideon.  As I began preparing for this first journey, I kept having it come to me, “The least of the least.”  The Lord dropped that on me several times.  In fact, I believe I even prophesied something similar over another person – Another Gideon is here.

The NLT bible states it this way in Judges 6:14-15: 14. Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!”  15. “But Lord,” Gideon replied, “how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!”

Within the last year, it was again prophesied to me that the Lord says that I have been equipped already and that I am well able to do what needs done.  There has been so much more that has been spoken that is coming to pass in this time and in this place.  Truly, I am being blessed to be a blessing to others.  I was brought into a war-zone and a mighty battle is about to break forth on many spiritual fronts.  I know this because of the “Gideon” prophecy.  It is coming to pass very soon and the signs of the season are all around.

The 300 intercessors are not a random number.  They are not by chance.  God told me to pray for warriors, just as with Gideon, and God answered Gideon’s prayer.  In Judges 7:6-8, the NLT bible reads: 6. Only 300 of the men drank from their hands. All the others got down on their knees and drank with their mouths in the stream.

7. The Lord told Gideon, “With these 300 men I will rescue you and give you victory over the Midianites. Send all the others home.” 8. So Gideon collected the provisions and rams’ horns of the other warriors and sent them home. But he kept the 300 men with him.  God is answering the prophetic prayer He gave to me on Sunday evening.

A person cannot help but love prophetic prayers.  God leads the prayer, so we know it is in God’s will. (Thy will be done on earth…)  This is the strongest type of prayer because of God’s will being in it.  These are the things that truly get me excited.  There are so many things happening on so many levels that I cannot write them all.  I do not have the time to write them all and likely those reading do not have the time to read them all.  I just wish others could see and experience what is happening here.

News Flash: Walter just told me that his eye surgery is being moved up and it is possible that he will be going in next Tuesday for work on his left eye.  The doctors are going to remove the silicone that was placed in it before. (This explains the vision I keep seeing what looks like a drop of silicone caulk that drops out of Walter’s left eye.)  He told me that the pain is nearly gone and his right eye is doing much better.  The prayers are working.  There are others praying for him as well.  Walter is one of those who God keeps bringing up throughout the day and God has given me several visions concerning Walter.  I know Walter’s eyes will be restored.  (There is that word again: Restored)

There are many other who I am led to continue to pray for.  In fact, I lay in bed this morning until well after 10 am, and continued to soak in the peace and pray for so many who need so much.  Even now, there is a peace that I feel in the midst of all things.

Admittedly, there are times when I feel I do not belong here and I should go home.  I sometimes feel I am an outsider and I can’t even speak to 98 or 99% of the people because I don’t speak Spanish.  Last night, I sat for two-hours in the bible study and John spoke at length in Spanish.  The entire conversation was in Spanish.  I was in a group of about 15 people, yet I felt I was totally alone.  This is true for anything; Sunday messages, prayers, bible studies, Pastor’s meetings, and even attempting to buy something at Dollar General.  Even clerks and cashiers do not speak English, so simple things that are so often taken for granted back home are not so easy.  Consequently, I do not go out much.  Since I rarely left the house in Ohio, it isn’t much different in those respects.  But it bothers me that it sometimes feels like I came 1800 miles just to sit in a different house.

However, God is moving here and I am allowed to move as God provides.  Pastor John welcomed me into his home and with open arms.  John has been very gracious in so many ways and introduced me to the congregation at the very first Sunday service.  At the end of that same service, I was called upon to deliver the message that God gave me for a particular lady (God gave me the word for her and showed me her in a vision the day before as I sat in John’s living room.  God showed me what she was wearing and even where she was sitting; although, I had not been in the sanctuary yet, nor had I met anyone from the church.  I told John about this on Saturday.  On Sunday morning I pointed her out to John.  John immediately confirmed that the word was genuine.)

It is strange that, in a place where I do not speak the language and no one knows me, I am free to minister and speak as God provides.  Those who can speak English and Spanish will translate for me during those service and ministry times.  Yet, in Ohio, where people DO know me and DO speak the same language, I am not allowed to minister and am relegated to being a spectator.  It would be so much easier to minister to those close to home and speak the same language, but God had to literally move me across the country in order to provide a place for me to grow.  It is rather sad on one hand but thanks and praise to God that He knows where the need is and the fertile ground is.  The ground where one can grow in the Spirit.  We’ll see what God’s plan is after this, but for now I will do my best to enjoy and cherish this time of growth and nourishing.

I sent another short note to my two sons, Josh and Jake yesterday.  I keep trying.  Just sending short notes to say hello and hoping all is well and sending my love.  Jake doesn’t respond at all and Josh responded once.  This has gone on for a long, long time.  I should just give up but it is not that easy.  After so many years, I have just about hit the end of it and will likely let go of them soon.  There is no sense holding onto someone or something that is not to be.

Josh was calling and contacting others to find out where I was, but he never bothered to email me.  When I heard of his inquiries, I decided to write both the boys again to let them know I was OK and that I loved them both.  Josh then wrote me back and let me know that he was not happy that I did not tell him where I was.  When I responded that neither of them gave me any indication that they even cared at all about me, he never wrote back again.  That was a couple weeks ago.  I rest my case.  They come around when it is convenient for them and to get what they want but I am not allowed to ask any questions about their lives.  This is especially true with Josh.  Josh wants to keep tabs on me (not so much out of concern but just knowing what is going on – Knowledge is power) but I am never to know about or be a true part of his life.  Neither of the boys want me in their life.  They want to be in mine enough to get what they want from me.

I feel I am simply looked upon as an inheritance.  Although I spent most of my life attempting to provide well for my family, that is pretty much over now.  It is hard to give up on something after spending so much life in working for someone else.  But my family is no more.  It is just that simple.  Cheri is about to enter into her fourth marriage and it will end with her fourth divorce.  The boys are as lost as anyone can be and my ex-step-daughter, Nichole is, divorced, lost, and full of hatred and bitterness.  All speak of forgiveness but none of them live it.  Nichole even said that there is nothing I could ever do to get her to forgive me.  I truly have no idea what I did that was so wrong to warrant that level of hatred.

Forgiveness is something they are eager to receive but not something they give out.  Of course, they don’t even need to receive it because in their own minds, they are right and they always have been.  I forgive them and love them anyway; in spite of the hurts inflicted upon me – But I also have to let them all go.  I know I have made mistakes and I am sorry for them but I cannot make any of them forgive me.  I cannot continue to carry the burden they insist I am to carry.  This is part of the “restoration”.  I have to let go of the “stones” I am carrying that do not belong to me.

As I was working on Pastor John’s computer yesterday, I came across a writing that his late wife, Jan wrote about prodigals.  The words touched me deeply.  Though I never met her, I know Jan was an incredible lady.  Among the things in her writing on prodigals it stated that we may let go of them but that does not mean we don’t care or love them any less.  We simply have to let them go and let God do what needs to be done.  God is a much better father than I could ever hope to be, so I will trust in Him to do what needs done with my sons and grandsons.

So Often We Forget About Just Sitting On His Lap & Enjoying His Presense


Thursday morning, and I feel nearly human again.  After Tuesday’s dental visit, I slept most of the time away, until this morning.  I got to the dentist a little after 11 on Tuesday morning and did not get home until about 9 that night.  Needless to say, they did a lot of work on me.  I was up for a couple hours yesterday but went back to bed and did not get up until about 9 this morning.  I’m feeling MUCH better now.

Unfortunately, I slept right through and missed the church service last night.  John said that there were about 30 people there who had never been to this church before and about 15 raised their hands to receive their salvation.  Sorry I missed that, but I needed the rest.

I woke up at one point Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning and turned over and there was a loud POP in my back.  It snapped really loud.  The pain was still in my arm; although it has continued to diminish a little bit.  Today my left hand is itching like mad and I finally am regaining feeling in my fingers.  The pain is greatly subsided too.  There is a dull ache in my back but nothing close to what has been the norm for so long.  I continue to pray for others and continue to receive blessings myself.  That’s a pretty good trade in my way of thinking.  I do want to see others have their needs met though – And there are MANY needs here.

Along the way, I’ve tried to help “earn my keep” by doing some odd jobs around here.  I did some work on the garage doors and have worked many hours on John’s computer.  He has an HP tower like the one I have at home and it was so loaded down with files that it kept locking up and ran so slow that it was not really usable.  He purchased an external hard drive and I have been transferring files for him.  God confirmed some things He is doing and some things He has told me in the process of working on John’s computer.

There are old files on the system and some are huge, at nearly a gigabyte for a single file.  Some of the files are corrupted and some are buried so deep that the roots of the files are locked in place by other files.  I have to remove other files in order to get down to the one’s I am after and save the largest file in a folder until last and then move it a little at a time.  The file is too large to move very far at once.  The “Path” must be short or the system drops the file in mid-transfer.  This is just what God showed me with the dark spot within me last week.  It is deep and large and cannot be transferred all at once.  Interestingly also, this computer analogy is exactly the same analogy I used in the writing of my biography!  John’s computer is doing exactly what the computer analogy in my biography does, and here I am working on the same thing on a computer in the natural.  I don’t believe in coincidence.  God is showing me something here – More on what He is doing – More on the Restoration.

I just remembered a voice message that John shared with me while we were on the way to the dentist Tuesday morning.  It Was A Real Blessing!  There are some who are praying for us and feel they need to come here and pray in the “restoration” that God wants to do here!  That “Restoration” was what John and I have understood for some time now and I have been praying for additional intercessors to come alongside (see second to the last paragraph – 6th paragraph – of entry on Jan. 23).  BINGO! – And God answers another prayer!

God is working in so many levels that I cannot even begin to grasp them.  Even as there were so very many hindrances and blockages at the dentist Tuesday, and I continued to pray and believe through them all, and God pushed right through them.  The dentist and I joined hands and prayed in the exam room before we started and we prayed and praised through it all.  It all worked out as God intended.  The only loose end right now is whether I am to stay longer or come back later.  At this point, it appears that God has every intention that one of these two things will happen.  This does not appear to be a one-time flash but a bit more of a work in process.  If that is God’s intention, then that’s what I’ll do.

As I promised God a couple years ago, as I lay in bed that night… lead me and show me where and how and I will go.  All I need is HIS provision and leading and I’m content.  I made that promise in May of 2008 and the Lord has been preparing me ever since.  Even now, He is still preparing me.  I am most certainly “In Training” in these days…And Loving It!  Even with the physical pain; even with the hindrances; even with the self-doubts.  I may not trust me, but I do trust Him who leads.  There is so much that God speaks to me and so much He has confirmed through others and in situations and circumstances.  Thank You, Jesus!

No One Said it Would Be Easy.

January 21, 2012:

Saturday morning: 70 degrees F and foggy…  That is the weather here about 10 am.  I have another long visit scheduled with the dentist’s chair today.  This will be a bit different in that Pastor John is not able to take me across the border or bring me back.  John’s brother, Steven in taking me over but arrangement has not yet been made for my return.  Not speaking the language is a definite hindrance and not knowing the land and having Ohio tags on the car is dangerous in this area.  Taking a cab from the dentist to the border bridge is also very dangerous since even cab drivers are on the take from the drug cartel people.  The corruption is deep in all areas and includes the police, government officials, and the military.

Many, many people have been kidnapped and are still being kidnapped all the time.  These people are either held hostage for money and/or put to work by the drug lords as slaves.  It is a very scary situation and someone like me, who does not speak the language and is an obvious “Green-go”, is marked as a prized target for them.  I am vulnerable when alone and must be very cautious even when I am with someone.  No one is truly “safe”.  It is better than it was even six-months ago, but there is nervousness and heaviness in the air.  I felt it the first time I crossed the border.  It is on the U.S. side also, but the spirit of oppression is powerful in this area.  There are uncountable numbers of demons at work here.  I often wonder why God would bring me to such a place.  It is obvious that He has things to show me and, WOW, is He ever showing me!  I so wish I had a better understanding of the Spanish language.  Even that would help greatly, but it would not remove the other dangers.  It would be so easy to be overcome and paralyzed (Peril –ized) with fear in such an environment, but I trust that God is protecting me and will provide those to help me gain safe passage.  Still, I do have to admit some uneasiness.  I have prayed so many times for so many who have lost loved ones to this human trafficking.  This is a regular testimony of many that their loved ones simply disappear, without a trace and nothing is done, nor can be done but to pray for God to intercede.

Pastor John has seen many terrible things and has suffered terrible losses.  The worst I’m sure is the recent loss of his wife, Jan.  The Lord promoted Jan in October, 2011, and John’s world is in a spin in so many ways right now.  I pray for God to give me the wisdom to minister to him but the best I can do is just listen.  I understand his pain, as I have suffered many of the same things that John has.  That is likely one reason (among many) that I am here.  Fortunately for John, he has two children, a son and a daughter, who love him dearly and John spends a lot of time talking on the phone with them and he visits with his daughter regularly.  I can relate to so much that Pastor John is going through.  He is spread very thin and often feels overwhelmed by the circumstances around him.  Perhaps in time I might be able to come alongside and help in other ways but for now I can just listen to him and pray for him.

Anyone reading this could also lift up these things to God and petition God to lay His hand over these things.  There is so much hurt here that I cannot begin to describe it all.  It is not only the drug-cartel, Pastor John’s situations, or my own situations, but there is a hurting in this land and in these people.  Repeatedly, God has shown me these things, both in the natural and by the words of the Spirit.  As I speak over people, God has revealed such misery and loss in so many lives that I am overwhelmed sometimes, even as I speak over them.  The pain is so very deep and has gone on for so long for so many.  Some of this may be of their own doing but most is not.  Most of it is inflicted upon them,

It is now toward evening and I just returned from McAllen a few minutes ago.  It is about 60 miles east of here and I attended a pastor’s meeting with Pastor John, Baldo, and LuLu.  I drove separately since I was at the dentist’s office.  It turned out that the only reason for me going to the office was to give them money.  That was rather disappointing to have to go over into Mexico and waste a couple hours, just to give them money that could have been done on Tuesday, when I had my next appointment.  There is so much time that I feel is wasted each day, just waiting on one thing or another.  I see needs and things to do but always seem to lack something necessary to do the task, or I am simply waiting on someone else, who appears anyway, to not be in too much of a hurry.  It feels that there is much time is spent “floating along”.  I suppose things are happening but it often does not feel that way.

January 23, 2012:

Yesterday was yet one more powerful service in the morning.  We never left the church until after 1 pm.  The focus at this time is “Restoration”.  As I wrote in previous entries, there are many hurts here.  So many need healing: Pastor John, Most all the congregation (especially many ladies), and myself included.  There are so very many heart-aches, spiritual needs, and many physical needs.  This applies to both churches, on both sides of the border; however, the ministry is very different on each side.

During worship yesterday, the Lord gave me a prophetic word and Pastor John had me speak it to the church before he gave the message.  There were two remaining statements of the prophecy to be spoken but the words were not given at that time.  They were interrupted for the time.  Pastor gave the entire message in Spanish, as usual.  And as usual, I did not have a clue what he was saying.  As he continued, I sat there waiting on the Spirit and listening for His voice.  As I did, He gave clarity to the remaining, unspoken words of the prophecy given before the message.  He formed them in simple and direct words and repeated them over and over until they were etched in my mind.  Then the Spirit told me to wait and He would tell me when to speak again.  A couple different times, I thought it was time and He would tell me to wait a bit longer.

Then, the Spirit said to step forward.  I motioned to John, got up, and headed for the pulpit.  I came alongside John and let him know there were a few words remaining of the prophecy.  John then informed the congregation of this and I began to speak, “The Lord says, But before this…Before these things…I must cast down the stones.  I will remove the stones that do not belong.  Be ready to let go of those stones.”  There was a look of astonishment on many faces and I returned to my seat.  I believe John then verified that I did not understand any Spanish.  Later, after the service, John said that I summed up the entire message in those few words!  WOW!  I had no idea!

Later in the day, we received a phone call from John’s brother, Walter.  Walter has severe eye problems and is losing his sight.  This is another of the things that is in need of here and the subject of bling being healed has been strongly on my heart, as are many things that God has led me to be in continuous prayer over.  John put Walter on speaker-phone and began praying; as he did, I prayed in the Spirit.  Then I prayed aloud and then John prayed yet again.  Then I received a vision of sand and three or four black protrusions pressing down into the sand.  They looked like fingers or thick roots.  Then I saw what the Lord referred to as “Minerals and vitamins” moving through the sand and toward the black protrusions.  As these minerals and vitamins came into the protrusions, the protrusions began to dissipate.  When John had finished praying the second time, I spoke into the phone again, and relayed similar to what I was seeing, but did not go into a great deal of detail; however, I spoke enough of what I was seeing to easily get the point across.  As is often the case, I did not understand the meaning of the vision.  Sometimes I might know but often times I do not, unless God tells me.

This morning, I saw Walter and asked him how his eyes were.  He stated that they were a bit better and then explained to me a bit more about his problem.  His right eye has macular degeneration, which is thought to be incurable.  Here is where it gets amazing though.  Apparently, they are learning that there are two types of this disease.  They are referred to as – Wet and Dry.  The “Wet” version is supposedly incurable.  However, they now believe that the “Dry” version can be reversed with minerals and vitamins!  It is considered to be brought on by a mineral and vitamin deficiency!  WOW!  The protrusions in the sand were the disease.  The sand symbolized “Dry”.  Then I saw the minerals and vitamins cutting through the “Dry” sand and overpowering the disease!  I fully believe that Walter is as good as healed.  He merely has to follow through with the mineral and vitamin treatments.  His eye will be fine.  I believe it because God showed it to me.  It is just that simple.  Praise You, Jesus!

The evening service in Miguel Aleman, Mexico was different from last week.  This week I retreated to the warehouse and began praying as soon as we arrived.  I remained there until the service ended (about 1 ½ – 2 hours).  I felt the presence of the Spirit several times and the Lord spoke several things to me during that time.  After the service, I asked Pastor John how the service went from inside the room and he stated that there was a sweet presence of the Spirit.  Thanks to the Holy Spirit, I realized the best place for me in Mexico was to stay in the shadows and pray for the “Covering”.  God confirmed this need several times during the prayer session and simultaneous service.  The Mexican church needs far more intercessors than we have right now.  The Lord told me that the wolf is at the door and lays in wait.  We need people to pray against the powers of the wolf and for God’s hand to cover what is being done here.

By the time I got to bed last night, my heart was weary and I was badly hurting in my soul.  There were some things that cut me deeply last night and some things that came about that brought up past injuries and situations.  Even now, I feel a deep sadness in these recent events.  It is difficult to encourage others when one is feeling discouraged by someone else.  Nothing seems to sap a person’s strength quicker than a harsh word, spoken without thinking or compassion.  I am where God wants me but there are other forces intent on me leaving.  They will use anything or anyone to get me to leave.  At one point, as I lay in bed last night, I considered leaving – In spite of all that has happened for good, I still feel at times that I am not needed or necessary, which hits very hard when certain things take place.

The pendulum continues to swing…

He Restoreth My Soul

Yesterday was another overwhelming day.  It seems the pendulum swings violently back and forth to such extremes.  Lord, I need Your stability.  I can feel the war going on and the frontlines shifting back and forth and it is taking a major toll on me.  It is also an unnecessary and unneeded burden on Pastor Peel.  I feel something special is coming but the battle rages until it comes.  I feel terrible that I am not more of an asset for Pastor John.  It often causes me to feel that I should go back home and not continue to trouble him with the things taking place with me.

The things I speak of are many.  First there is the fact that I do not know Spanish.  Even though we are on the U.S. side of the river, the dominant language is Spanish.  Even a simple thing as going to the store is a problem because the cashier does not speak English, so we cannot communicate.  This is the case anywhere I go.  It is obvious that I am an outsider and unable to speak with anyone or have any easy transactions.  Even the simplest purchases are difficult and not knowing the lay of the land makes it difficult to know where it is ok to go and where it is not.

The pains that continue to plague my body are so horrendous that they are wearing me down mentally, physically, and emotionally.  This troubles me the most in knowing that Pastor John does not need another burden to bear and I feel too often that I am another burden for him.  He has been so gracious and understanding but I know there needs to be a breakthrough in this soon.  I cannot continue to add to his load, even though I am desperately trying not to be another stone on his back.

I spent 3 more hours at the dentist yesterday and then another 1 ½ hours getting therapy on my back and arm.  I was so exhausted by the end that I could barely walk.  Each day is pulling me down more and more and I feel I am about to completely collapse.  Sometimes, I don’t know what is holding me up.  I has to be God – I feel so drained.

After leaving the therapy office, I was completely shut down from the hours and hours of unending and unbearable pain.  I prayed and cried out for so many hours that I was totally spent.  I could hardly walk or even stand and it was a struggle to even open my eyes.  At the time though, the pain was nearly gone.  Pastor helped me to his truck and as we were driving back over to the U.S. I continued to pray, just as I have for all these days and hours.  Suddenly, the Lord reached deep inside me.  I saw a dark hole or spot in my deepest belly.  It was at the center of my abdomen and deep within me.  I saw His hand and His finger point to it and then He touched it and spoke to it.  It was so incredibly powerful that I broke out into tears.  They flowed from me in streams and I sobbed and sobbed.  There was a release of something but I don’t know what it was.  I do know that the pain of it was so great that I felt that I would die.  I realize now that this pain and darkness is so deeply rooted in me, that to remove the entire thing at once would literally kill me.  Then the Lord spoke something to me but I cannot repeat what He said because it could too easily be misinterpreted by others.  I admit that it is something I do not really understand myself but I believe I soon will.

Upon arriving back at Pastor John’s, I went upstairs and collapsed for nearly two hours.  When I awoke, the pain was greatly diminished.  But it began to grow in intensity again, and as the next hour or two passed, the pain returned to the full and I sat up most of last night in pain.  I didn’t sleep well (as with every night since I left Virginia) because of the unending pain.  I continue to load up with over-the-counter pain pills and take sleep-aids at night to try and force my body to get some rest.  I believe restoration is coming – I just don’t exactly know when.

Dentist's Office Picture

I also know that God is in all this.  He sends little confirmations along the way.  Those who have followed this story know that God spoke to me a couple months ago and said, “I am cutting loose your moorings.”  The Spirit was ready to take me away from the dock and into deeper waters.  The voyage was about to begin.  After that word from the Spirit, the picture of the tall ship to the left side of this page continued to come to me many times, each day.  This was the focus of the coming voyage.  Imagine my surprise when I was going to the dentist several times and had a serious decision to make, and then suddenly noticed the picture above on the wall in the waiting room!

I was able to pray confidently and made a decision to move out in faith that God’s hand was in it.

Then, a couple days ago I went to the massage therapist.  I was not sure if it was where I was

In Massage Therapist's Exam Room

supposed to be but I trusted that things would work out according to God’s plan.  Yesterday, as I walked into to the same exam room as I was in the day before, I looked up and almost fell over for what I saw.  The room was small and had no decorations or pictures in it.  It was a plain and sterile looking examination room.  However, up on the top of the cabinets; even back where no one would ever notice was a wooden model of a tall ship!  I was so excited that I asked them to go get Pastor John.  By the time I got finished with the session, I was in no condition to do anything but John was gracious enough to go take the picture of the ship (above, right).  It also gave an opportunity for him to share a little of this thing that the Lord was doing.

I’m in a great deal of pain – BUT – I know the Lord is in it.

He Restoreth My Soul!  And I know that is what He is doing with me right now.

The Time Draws Near

The dream returned again last night.  It is the dream of the train wreck.  This is the fourth such dream that I have had in the past three years.  Each one is a little different in the details but the same situation is always played out.  There is a gathering of cars that are either in an accident or simply stopped on and near the tracks and the train comes and slams into them.  That is the general overview of all the dreams.  Only one of the dreams had the cars in an accident before the train hit them but that was the third woe.  The Lord told me several weeks ago, “Beware the Third Woe!”  The second woe is about to hit and it is very soon.  I say this because the accident I saw last night was so close that I had to duck for cover.  The details were vivid and I was standing in midst of the wreck.  Crumpled and smashed vehicles were falling out of the sky like rain, after the train had slammed through them.

The First Woe came in 2008, with the collapse of the economy.  In the late 90’s, during the Clinton administration and the economy was booming, the Lord told me to prepare for hard times that were coming.  He told me to, “Get your house in order.”  I did as told and attempted to warn others, but the economy was too good and no one believed me.  I was laughed at and finally stopped speaking and did what I had to do to prepare.  At that time, the Lord also put on my heart that the United States would no longer be a super-power and would actually become as a third-world country.  When I spoke this, the laughter only increased – But it IS coming.  It is not that I want to see any of it, except that I know these things must happen for prophecy to come to pass.  Israel must stand alone and so the U.S. must be removed from her side.  I spoke this nearly 13 years ago and no one believed it would ever take place.  We see it happening today.

I don’t want to sound like a doom-sayer but the job I have is to sound the warning.  If no one listens, then it is not my fault.  I did what I am to do and the bible says that their blood is on their own hands for not listening to the warning sounds.  If I don’t sound the warning, then it on my head!  There will be a second blow to the economy and this time it will be on a larger scale than what happened in the U.S. in 2008.  At this point, I don’t know how to tell anyone to get ready, because the time is short.  In 1998, there was plenty of time to prepare, but it takes time to build an ark.  Noah didn’t start building a couple months before the rain.  God told him years ahead of time to prepare.  My consolation is that no one listened to Noah either but that doesn’t make me feel any better, for I know that many will not be prepared and will be hurt because they simply would not listen to the alarm.

There is a great storm coming….

Taste and see the goodness of the LORD!

January 14, 2012:

Saturday was another tough day at the dentist – 4 root canals in a single sitting!  Can you say, “Ouch?”  A couple days ago I was in the chair for over 3 hours and today I was there nearly 7 hours, but only about 5 hours was spent actually being worked on.  My back and left arm are still incredibly hurting.  The pain everywhere is so sharp.  I hurt from my chest to the top of my head.  At the best of times it is a dull ache, except when the anointing is flowing and then all pain disappears.  I’m ready to start feeling good any day.  I was praising God for the restoration He has been providing for my teeth but when they hit me with the cost of the entire job I was disheartened.  I sold a lot before coming down here and put it all in my account.  It looked like it as going to be enough to cover it all but it is nowhere near enough.  I’m praying what to do now.  I’m already committed for some of it but the question is how much can I get corrected or which direction is the right direction.  I thought it would all be fixed.  It could be but it is going to take God’s intervention to help see that through.  It is only about 8:30 but I am worn out and not feeling well at all, so I am going to retire early.

January 15, 2012:

“Abierto”  That was the word that kept coming to me over and over this morning, as I lay in bed and pondered the many things the Spirit showed me and spoke to me last night.  Having no idea what it meant, I asked Pastor John.  He explained that it means “Open” or “Be Open”.  OK.  I am to just be open to whatever God is doing – And He is doing A LOT!  As I prayed before service, the Lord spoke to me and said that I am to be open to not only receive but be open to give as well.

January 16, 2012:

Where do I even begin to speak of what is happening here?  Morning service lasted until after one o’clock.  The presence of the Lord was so thick and so heavy that no one wanted to leave.  At least one-third of those present were brought to tears during worship and I was among them.  Remember: I speak no Spanish and everything was in Spanish, so I could only join in by means of the Spirit.  Yet I still was so moved.  I believe this dispels some of the teachings that such movements of the Holy Spirit are simply emotional events.  True, they are very emotional – BUT, how can one get so overcome when that person cannot even understand what is being said or sung?

Some cried out to the Lord almost hysterically.  His Holy presence was so sweet.  By the end of the delivery of the message, Pastor John had tears streaming down his face and was grasping the pulpit strongly.  He was so drunk in the Spirit that he could barely stand.  It is so wonderful to take part in such a powerful touching from God’s Holy Spirit.  As I said before, I have been in severe pain for many weeks, with a terrible pinched nerve in my back and I spent 7 hours at the dentist Saturday and received 4 root canals in a single visit.  Yet, when the Anointing is present – ALL pain is gone.  About an hour after the services, as the Anointing fades, the pain returns so powerfully that I nearly want to pass out and it takes my breath away.  Massive amount of pain meds don’t eliminate the pain but the Anointing wipes it out.  Praise God!

About 3 a.m. on the 15th (Sunday morning), the Lord woke me up and began showing me things.  This lasted until after 5 a.m.  There were many visions and words.  Again, the pain was gone as He ministered to me.  Many things were to be sealed for now and some were for prayer to be offered.  But some…INCREDIBLE!  After the powerful service the Lord blessed us with, we prayed for and over one another as led by the Spirit and as the needs were presented.  Then others came to me and began sharing what was happening in their lives and what the Lord had showed them.  Their pieces fit perfectly with what the Spirit had shown me the previous night.  Some of the things were duplicated, which even more proved that they were of the Spirit of God.  The words and visions of various people bore witness that the words were authentic.  This has happened repeatedly during the past week as God confirms things over and over.  It is so special to be amongst others who are also moving in the Spirit.  I am blessed in knowing how they are blessed.  It is not only me pouring into them but they have no idea how much they have poured back into me as well.  And it is all God’s pouring out – First.

Taste and see…  Thank you for giving me a taste Lord.  It only serves to increase my hunger for more.

Powers and Principalities…

Again I was amazed at how God moved and allowed things to take place last night in the prayer service.  We met in the home of one of the church members.  As a young man and young lady were driving to the meeting they were attacked by a demon.  I do not believe that I should share the specifics but I can say that the two were nearly killed in the attack.  When they arrived at the home where we were gathering, the young lady was hysterical and the young man was barely coherent – And he was the one who was driving!  It was a miracle that they even made it to the home.  Pastor John and a very God-seeking couple by the name of Baldo and Lulu rushed outside to minister to the young people.

I remained inside through most of this and did not go out until someone requested that I did.  When I got out to the car, Lulu was comforting and ministering to the young lady and Pastor John and Baldo were ministering to the young man as he still sat in the driver’s seat.  I prayed briefly for guidance and then reached in and placed my hand on the young man’s chest and continued to pray in the spirit.  His heart was racing and pounding violently and as I prayed I could feel it calming down.  Once I felt that calm, I stood back and continued to pray in the spirit.  It was not for me to minister but to observe and pray.

As I went to the rear of the vehicle, I saw who the young lady was to whom Lulu was ministering.  She was among those I prayed over the night before.  As I stood off to the side and continued to pray in the spirit it suddenly came to my remembrance what the Spirit had told me to warn her…she was going to be demonically attacked and to be ready to stand against that attack and take authority over the demon.  The Holy Spirit told me what to tell her to proclaim and with what authority, when the attack came.  Not even 24-hours later she received that attack.  Unfortunately, she did not do as the Holy Spirit instructed but that is ok.  It was a learning experience for her and God will use that experience in a big way.  She experienced something very special and very real.  The spiritual realm is more real than what we can see.  I think she now understands that a bit better than before; not only for the experience that she had but for the for-telling of the experience.  I asked Lulu to speak to the girl and simply ask her if she recalled what the Spirit spoke to her the night before.  The girl said yes.  I left it at that.

It took at least one-half hour or more before they all were able to come inside and the study time was able to begin.  Even then, the young people were still very shaken by their encounter for quite some time.  It is certain that they will remember the reality of that event for the rest of their lives.  Lulu had planned another bible study on “Believing” but in light of what had just taken place, she switched the study and focused on Jesus’ time in the wilderness and how He resisted the devil.  This is such a lax subject in the modern church and the enemy has found it to be so easy to move around in the lives of believers, simply because people do not really understand the reality of the spiritual realm.  Even worse, many pastors will even play down the significance of principalities and powers.  The Word does quite the opposite!  Paul taught quite the opposite!  Jesus taught quite the opposite!

After the study there was a prayer time.  They set two chairs in the center of the circle of people and those needing prayer would sit in the center of the room.  Those attending then prayed for those in need.  Some might be led by the Spirit to pray a certain way and would do so as led.  I felt more of a need to stand back and observe and the few times the Lord gave me something I passed it on to Pastor John and he would lead and pray.  There were a couple things that I received that were simply for my understanding and for me to pray about without sharing.  A couple times I was called upon to pray but one of those times I knew that I was not to pray what I was receiving for others to hear, so I prayed it in the spirit instead.  I often wonder what people think when I do that so often.  Many times someone may know I have a word but too often they don’t understand that the word is not for others to hear.  I am blessed to know they have the sensitivity of knowing.  So many times in the past I have had a word that was to be spoken and never called upon to give it.  Even when I would express having a word, pastors would shut me down and not allow the word.  So it is refreshing to be in the presence of those with such spiritual sensitivity.  That they request something I have even when it is not to be spoken.  What a blessing!  It simply reveals something I can pray for them to receive – Discernment in knowing the word I have is not to be spoken.  Those with such spiritual sensitivity will quickly and easily receive that gift.

On the other end of the spectrum, I am desperately struggling with the pain and resulting exhaustion of being in such pain all day and night.  It is wearing me down as I continue to take pain relievers that only take the extremeness of the pain but still the pain is so sharp that I can hardly breathe at times.  Sleep is broken at night and I feel I am in a fog and detached from all around me.  I continue to pray for healing but it does not come.  The pain completely leaves when the Anointing is present but quickly returns even stronger as the Anointing fades.  If nothing else, it is a good meter for the presence of the Spirit’s working in situations and events.